Taking the time..with our children, with ourselves.

Reading Angela Mollard's Wise Words column in the Sunday magazine of the Telegraph titled Too busy for life, quality not quantity, helps a child grow says Angela - I had to agree.

Working with parents I often hear the person, ( usually a mum) or couples life has been sidelined or worse overtaken all together with the busy-ness of raising children.

I often feel a pang of regret for the children who are seem to be over-scheduled to within an inch of their lives, wondering how this effects their developing personality. Are we raising mini adults modelling for them a state of anxiety induced by the need to be a good swimmer, dancer, soccer player you name it. Where did we forget fun in our little ones childhood?

Never mind what the effects are on a partnership, as people walk into my door wrung out with tiredness in search of relationship help.

I often coach the need to re-prioritise the relationship, the friendship and love for the forlorn forgotten couple. When this relationship is strengthened, children's security needs are met in a far deeper and more meaningful level than any sporting event or performance.

Interestingly I started this post with other ideas in mind, but as I was writing this is what came through my my dealings with the people I work with.

 Parents are also partners, whether you are together or not. So I encourage you to be there for mate and not sideline your relationship but put it centre stage as the model you wish for yourself and your children - the best lessons you can give your child are the ones they see within your relationship.

Need help to get back on track - try some relationship coaching with me at Marriage Works

Best Wishes Philipa

You have to Laugh.

Evolutionary Psychology  Professor Robyn Dunbar of Oxford researching laughter says " we've all heard the phrase 'laugh until it hurts', that pain isn't metaphoric but sustained laughter can be both painful and exhausting. This can be your new exercise as it has a similar physiological response to exercise the study reveals.

It makes sense there is a physical and emotional action. Yoga laughter advocates the benefits of laughing but the research published 2012 in  Proceedings of the Royal Society B, suggests it is also a physical work out - no joke! Apologies for that pun. So get your chortle on.

Read Gretchen Reynolds article in the Sydney Morning Herald - You have to laugh for the full story and keep your perspective people.

So laugh hard, laugh long, and laugh with others !

Best wishes Philipa
 Psych Solutions, Your Sydney Counselling Psychologist.

The Royal Commission into child sexual abuse - a great step for victims

As a psychologist I see many victims of childhood and adult sexual abuse. Incredibly most people are well adjusted but invariably tend to have relationship difficulties.

The Government decision to have a Royal Commission is to be congratulated!
Institutions, need to be accountable and especially those not currently so - read religious orders, we should all be open to scrutiny and transparency.

People need to have faith in the integrity of the people in positions of power and there are checks and processes to protect them.

I work under the Australian Psychological Society's Code of Ethics and am a mandatory reporter, who in employment has been subject to what is known as a working with children criminal check.

I believe abuse continues in darkness and behind closed doors, we do need to speak out about the effects of this on people.

I specialise in working with people to heal in this form of trauma, that often leads to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety and Depression using specific trauma techniques that are fast, effective and efficient in the recovery process. I really feel privileged in the work I do and the courage it takes for people who have survived this experience.

Please visit my websites - Psych Solutions NSW;  www.psychsolutions.net.au or www.marriageworks.com.au

Thanks and please believe your children and keep them safe!
Best Wishes Philipa