Pay it forward.

That's what business leader Deanne Weir  is doing by donating to the $500,000 to the Sydney Women's fund and a further $500,000 to IWDA. 

Deanne Weir is allowing her good fortune to benefit others. 

P

Thanks for your generosity of spirit Ms Weir!  

Philanthropy is alive and it feels good to give. 

Of course not all if us can give that much but a little can help.  

I recently donated to Breast Cancer (many friends have been touched by this disease) and My daughter's pet rescue hospital. It felt good to take some action. 

How can you pay your good fortune forward today ?

It may be a gift to a worthy cause or as simple as a kind word and a smile to a stranger. 

;))

Identifying the states of Resource Therapy and the pathologies including...

Harriet Wran - another kid in trouble.

Regardless of her social status or wealth, Harriet Wran is a troubled kid in need of help from her family and community. 

What parent hasn't had to come to the aid of their child at some stage ?

Any acting out behaviour is a scream for help. This child is in pain. She has lost her father Neville Wran and now her freedom. Many young people our Gaols are in looking at the same steely view. 

 We are seeing extended 'teenagehoods' with many young folk not developing emotional integrity or maturity until around the 30 year old  mark.

Part brain development, part nurturance, our duty as parents ( and I really feel Jill Hicksons sense of helplessness and shock at this horror) is to stand by our children. 

Unconditional love is being there as best you can. It doesn't mean we always approve of our child's decisions or actions but we love them in spite of it all. 

Parenting is for life.

 You always have an opportunity to improve - I know I have gotten better and I'm sure Jessica agrees. Begin today, talking, sharing not only concerns but your love and kindness. 

RIP Robin Williams

My deepest condolences to Susan Schneider and Robin's children and friends. 

It's sad the world lost a major artistic talent. He blessed us with his wonderful movies and tv - Good will hunting, Good morning Vietnam, What dreams may come ( a favourite of mine very touching and a beautiful palette), the Dead poets society and Mrs Doubtfire to name a few. 

I grew up with Mork and Mindy. 

Maybe a part of him really did feel like an alien on earth. 

 

Severe depression, with it's melancholy and topped up with addictions took there toll. 

May he be at peace now. 

My uncle suffered depression with psychotic features of paranoia which saw him kill himself. I was very close to him and was a vulnerable teenager. It left a mark of unhappiness on our family. 

Shame also stained  - I'm from a small NZ town. There is also guilt. These can be heavy burdens - please do not bear them alone. 

 Mental illness is deserves tender treatment. Please if you have concerns about a loved one and notice changes in their thinking and behaviour consult a health professional. 

Help is out there. 

In mourning I will be watching a film of Robins soon to honour his life. 

Best Wishes Philipa. 

Rolf Harris Guilty on all Counts

Even as a kiwi kid I grew up with Rolf Harris's talented persona.  

On weekly television shows he painted, sang and played in my family living room. 

He had easy access to many young children and a ready charm - the perfect play for a paedophile. 

Most of us think of child molesters as the stranger in the park long dark cloak. 

That is very rare. These criminals have to cultivate an easy friendly manner that gets your guard down and letting them access underage children in your care. 

If you want a chilling description of the excuses and criminal profiles of sex offenders then look no further than clinical psychologist Nigel Latta's book Into the Darklands.  Reading this changed my behaviour it's scary but compelling reading.  

Rolf Harris classically minimises and defends his criminal behaviour. He calls himself "touch feely", blames the victim as misconstruing his 'friendly way.' 

Calling the grooming of a child to be ready for his sexual advances an affair. 

Get off Rolf it's wrong!

Complimenting a child in a bikini is wrong! 

Putting your hands on a child's private parts wrong and criminal!

I am saddened disappointed with Rolf's behaviour and sexual offences.  

I can't imagine what his family is going through, that's a very difficult place to be. Of course they love him. 

And most of all my heart goes out to the courageous victims for speaking out. 

Child abuse is the first act betrayal and not being heard or believed is the second.   

Listen up mums and dads. 

Paws rescue

My lovely daughter is a very caring animal  lover. Please pass this on.  http://www.petrescue.com.au/listings/303086#sthash.qDbYsp0w.gbpl

My daughter is trying to find a home for Hercules. Perhaps you can too !

Eight Gigabytes of hard core play at the Griffin Theatre Sydney

Last night saw me in the audience with Friends watching playwright Declan Greene's witty "Eight Gigabytes of Hardcore Pornography."

At moments laugh out loud lauding, then cringing in the despair of the human condition of these two characters who meet online. 

Observantly and with poetic skill Declan captures the weirdness and angst of these people lives. 

She is a forty something nurse, raising her kids solo encircled by massive credit card debt as she buys to fill the emotional void that is her life. 

He is a computer hack, bored with the orneriness of his marriage and life. He seeks solace in the fantasy of internet pornography to deal with his unexplored and unvoiced anxiety. 

This emptiness inevitably draws them together, seeking what each craves, only for them to wind up stripped bare in despair. 

An excellent play!

Director Lee Lewis makes the most of the intimacy of the Stables Theatre.  

Andrea Gibbs and Steve Rodgers deliver the pathos, anxiety of unmet needs and desires that go very deep great work !

I can highly recommend this fabulous play, it certainly sparkled my friends conversations with awe and connection as we shared our love experiences. 4/5. 

Charlize Theron feels "raped" by media attention.

I have to agree with Louise Roberts take in today's Telegragh. The use of the word "rape" casualises sexual violence and demeans humanity. 

Charlize you may feel violated by the constant media presence - that is understandable. I hear you. 

However  rape is not an accurate description of anything but a sexual crime. 

People let's get really clear on this. 

Rape is not a throw away line.

 I have worked with many brave survivors of this vicious crime. 

It can be overcome but we must not minimise the seriousness of sexual violence. 

Speak out ! 

Mum get your boobs out !!

Having been lucky enough to breast feed my daughter Jessica, boy was I shocked to read of poor Allison's Smith's baby unable to be feed !

She was at The Children's Hospital no less when she was asked to move from the children's playroom to breast feed her sick son. 

All for the sake of the children ! Really?!

Fight this form of illegal discrimination. 

That's right people it is illegal to tell a breast feeding mum to stop, move elsewhere or cover up under the Sex Discrimination Act 1984. 

The breast is a holy instrument of nourishment. It is only adults who sexualise and demean this source of growth from their own discomfort and inappropriate responses. If you don't like it - then take responsibility and remove yourself from the situation. 

So I am urging all mums to feed their hungry children - that's right get your boob's out mums with babies!!

It is you and your child's right to a meal. 

 Www.Psychsolutions.Net.Au supports all lactating mothers and their babies. 

Lithgow Dr's Murder Tragedy

My phone rang this morning by the good folks at 2UE. Anita the lovely producer Of 2UE's Mornings with Angela Catterns was thinking of the poor children left behind in the suspected murder- suicide at Lithgow this week and who was looking after them professionally. 

Respected Lithgow Doctor Leonie Geldenhuys' two sons aged 13 and 18, discovered her fatally stabbed to death early Tuesday morning. Sadly their fathers body was later found in what Police suspect is a murder-suicide. 

Of course this is shocking and traumatizing on a number of levels. 

No doubt this is devastating for those children. Doubly so as they found their parent deceased in such a horrific manner. 

Exposure to trauma is traumatizing by it's very nature. We all have differing responses and coping skills. 

There is the necessary crisis response at this time where support and emotional care are needed.  The children need to process this tragic event and try to make sense out of what makes no sense. 

Children exposed to horror of this kind are at increased psychological risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Complicated Bereavement, Depression and Anxiety. 

In my professional opinion it is crucial they understand their parents relationship and it's obviously disturbed interaction is not about them. 

Responsibilty for this lies solely at Mum and Dad's feet as the adults in the situation. Parents must actively protect their children from their relationship breakdown. 

This is vital. Too many times in my rooms I see adults telling me of situations where they were out in harms way as a way to manage violence and unhappiness. 

It is not a child's place. Children need to remain partitioned away from  adult conflict and concerns.  

Please Australia put your children's emotional and physical safety as priority No.1 especially in cases of estrangement, separation and divorce. 

Call the authorities, seek professional support if you are experiencing difficulty in relationships - spare your children from this burden. 

My deepest condolences to Dr Geldenhuys children, family and friends. 

Alex Perry Fashion designer with good advice.

I'm watching tv and seeing Charlotte Dawson's wonderful friends who miss her terribly after she hung herself earlier this year. 

I can relate to this as my Uncle suicided by shotgun many years ago. 

It leaves you feeling lost, helpless and guilty wishing you had acted on their symptoms. 

Hell maybe  you don't even recognize these signs. If you are not sure ask a mental health professional. 

My uncle's death prompted me into psychology - I wanted to stop needless loss of life in times of desperation, like depression and psychosis. 

Hearing Alex Perry saying he wished he had spoken to a psychologist about Charlotte, I really understand his angst. 

Listen to his wise words if you have any concerns for a friend, family or other love. 

Call your local psychologist, doctor or psychiatrist - you can help by reaching out and maybe save a life. 

Suicide in your living room.

The media brings suicide right into our living room. Sharply displaying the shock and confusion of those left behind in the loss of their relative, their friend or colleague. 

I think more awareness of mental health is paramount. Depression is a physical illness if not properly treated can lead to suicide. 

On the weekend Sydney newspapers front pages were filled with Charlotte Dawson's suicide. Sadly her body was found in her apartment on Saturday. 

On Sunday I watched the finale to INXS and Michael Hutchence suicide. 

In the papers I read of Charlotte's friends disbelief. I did not know her but I imagine Charlotte to be like most depressed folk, what you see is not what is reality of their internal life. 

I wonder if Charlotte was able to allow anyone past the mask of OK-ness. I somehow doubt it.  

What most people would have seen was the part if her coping, putting on a brave front, leaving the angst for at home behind closed doors or possibly channelling to helping others unaware of her true angst as she did on twitter. 

With Michael Hutchence we saw the effects of a head injury change his trajectory in life. An obviously passionate artist was sadly king hit. This resulted in the loss of his senses you and I take for granted - taste and smell. I don't know about you but I would be devasted not to be able to taste a strawberry choc top or smell a mans scent. 

A blow to the head can lead personality changes.  Many folk recognize these changes and are confused and angry, feeling out of control.  These behavioral changes  are not usually fun, we heard from the band of Michaels increased irritability and aggressiveness. This of course can lead to depression as the person struggles to cope with the changes and feels helpless. 

Often in my work with depressed folk there is an underlying disappointment. 

 In Charlottes case that might have been her divorce from Scott Miller, whom friends called the live if her life. We recently saw his presentation on 60 minutes of his  descent into addiction and the associated behaviours that accompany this. Perhaps she felt a sense of failure. No one falls in love, gets married and hopes to divorce. Personalizing the failure while idealizing or romanticising the other is something I hear a lot of. A relationship is 50/50 both parties have a responsibility in its enhancement or demise. 

Seeing Michael Hutchence's friends from INXS on TV we got close to the distress and disbelief of this loss of life. 

Those of us ( my Uncle killed himself when I was aged 12.) who are left behind have to deal with the shock and lack of explanation. And anyone who has faced a sudden loss knows if the grief that follows. 

Suicide on the face of it seems like a senseless act. 

Interesting fact -health professionals are encouraged not to use "committed suicude" which harks back to a time when suicide was a crime.

 In Australia the laws for suicide and attempted suicide varied for each state. It is no longer illegal to commit suicide or attempt suicide, except for the Northern Territory where it is illegal to attempt suicide. 

The suicide laws were abolished in NSW in 1900, in South Australia in 1935 under section 13A of the Criminal Consolidation Act, and in Victoria in 1958 under the Victorian Crimes Act. 

 We now know no it's an issue of mental health ( except for the Northern Territory, I'm not sure what's going on there) . 

So for those who have been touched by the grief of suicide know all your emotions are ok, nothing can ever replace your loved one but in time you can go on with the loving memory. 

Sometimes it's easy to get stuck In the why? Or for me it was a sense of betrayal and broken promises as my Uncle had left me in order to deal with his pain. 

I sought help for that stuck point and it has certainly helped me. 

Please know there is support out there. 

Sadness and anger is a normal reaction. 

Best wishes philipa. 

More info : www.psychsolutions.net.au

The shock of an affair similar to PTSD

I've seen many couples struggle with the aftermath of an affair.  

There's no doubt it's painful to be cheated on and the troubles infidelity brings to a marriage. 

Read my latest article on betrayal that incorporates trauma therapies - Ego State Therapy, EMDR, radical exposure therapy and emotional freedom technique. 

http://www.australiacounselling.com.au/mental-health-articles/featured-counsellors/philipa-thornton/

Manchester drama On the Shore of the Wide World hits Sydney's Griffin Theatre

When my friend Amanda Stephens-Lee, playing mother figure in On the Shore of the Wide World Emailed me the play info I knew I had to go.

The cast was amazing. 

it was great to see Amanda practising her craft as she had directed a Darlo Drama production I had been involved in last year. We even had a genuine UK import with Huw Higginson immediately recognisable as the character PC George Garfield  from Uk TV series The Bill. 

Wonderful performances all round.

 I found Kate Fitzpatrick and Paul Bertram characterised perfectly an older generation of relationship drama and tensions within a long term marriage. 

The actors Alex Beauman, Graeme McRae and Lily Newbury-Freeman captured the younger generations newer take on emotional connections, values and beliefs which they stood up for powerfully. 

This play is the UK's sister to August: Osage County. Another powerful drama that draws you into a Midwestern families dysfunction that's passed down from mother to daughter over the life span. 

The scene is set for the pain of inter generational trauma, loss and eventual reconnection. I especially loved Granddads speech on being a father very poignant and true. Each dad does the best he can and their sons go on to improve that by being a better father than their own. 

All the characters are identifiable and touching despite being set in Manchester, family issues speaks universally. 

Wonderfully written this play will leave you thinking and responding to it with an emotional reaction or two - to me this is the heart of live theatre. 

I encourage you to see On the Shore of the Wide World at the Griffin Theatre. 

Www.griffin.theatre.com.au

Mike Keanes call for zero tolerance on violence article hits the mark.

He makes good sense. Violence is behavioral. Alcohol is an inert substance we imbibe, let's not blame a fluid 

but ask people to take responsibilty for their actions.