Balancing home and work is the mother of all challenges!

Cossima Marriner draws attention to the struggles Collette Dinnigan, Melissa Doyle, Kasey Chambers and Nicola Roxon have had as working mums. 

It is a delicate  balancing act for many with nearly 1/3 of full time mums dissatisfied according to the University of South Australia's centre for Work + Life. 

Mother guilt, financial pressures would be rated high in the stressors these women experience. 

Partners are often vital in helping share the load but often have not heard their partners distress or complaints. I believe this is not because they don't care rather they see this as 'venting' and probably can't find any solution so silence reigns supreme. 

Share more to understand and ask more of what is needed is my suggestion to partners in the counseling room. 

Warsaw Conference

Hello all,

I am writing this in the Marconi room of the Bristol Hotel in Warsaw Poland. 

I am here for a Cognitive Psychology Conference held at the University of Warsaw. 

This is being organised by the International Society for the Psychological  treatments of Schizophrenias and other Psychoses. 

Of significance to me is the whole of community approach with all welcome. 

Interesting. 

Warsaw is a delightful city with a mix of young and old. 

One has to ponder and admire the Polish having to deal with invasions, death camps, uprisings and Communism has certainly left a wound but also a strength of character and nobility on adversity.  

Yoga Foundations

My favourite Yoga teacher is offering a 6 week course in Yoga foundations.

Yoga is part of my spirit relief and life balance. I love the philosophy and the physical. I find it to be an essential in my daily life.  

It's not about competition, more about self inquiry and how that can apply in your life. I like a bit of reflection on things it offers you perspective. 

I'm always a big advocate of going back to the beginnings and am wrapped I can attend the Hatha Yoga course being offered. 

If you are interested please email Jeff

Yoga@botannix.com

Or phone as numbers are strictly limited:

Jeff 0407 562 154 to ensure your place. 

Check it out www.botannix.com 

Bliss be with you! 

It's the saddest thing...

I'm sitting in in the sun, Saturday morning after yoga. Enjoying breakfast at a local cafe. 

Reading the Good Weekend article Girls Gone wild written by Mandy Sayer. Violence is abhorrent in any form but I think there is a deeper shock seeing  young girls  being involved in violent crime. 

It's the saddest thing -  hearing their life stories of child abuse and an inevitability of their fate - gaol or pregnancy. 

Who is there to love them. One girl says " Juvenile detention is paradise." Wow. 

We punish these children , when clearly these girls missed out on family, state protection. Who was their for them ?

And then there are the victims of the victims. The cycle of abuse spreads. 

In the story a mother of two says of a vicious assault she suffered at the hands of five teenage girls "it still affects me every day."

From her further description this woman is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). ..." I had nightmares.  It took me two years before I could walk downtown on my own. Even now I'm still scared."  

As a therapist I know that this woman and I would suggest those girls in the article would benefit from evidence based trauma therapy.

 I use Eye Movement desensitisation Reprocessing ( EMDR)  to help in these instances. It is an endorsed trauma therapy and gold standard treatment for PTSD and much more. 

 Only yesterday I was using it in a  Skype session for a person suffering from panic attacks. Her first sense of this was rooted in a childhood memory with her mother delivering a brutal beating to her brother as she watched helpless. 

In 20 minutes or so she said she no longer felt the crippling sensations  and she felt lighter with a sense of relief. 

This was definitely a case of the past being present. We had started with her response to a partners tone - a trigger for past memories of her mother that she had not consciously connected until our work together. 

I love doing this type of work and do hope if you have a past incident or strong responses affecting you and your relationships you want to change I can certainly recommend EMDR. 

Please find a certified EMDR practitioner today and get the help you deserve. 

Best wishes Philipa 

Www.psychsolutions.net.au

Healing Magic's Faster EFT creator Robert. G.Smith's tour down under continues.

As a psychologist I am always interested in improving my skills to assist people as quickly and thoroughly to effectively resolve their problems.

This means I am in touch with the latest and greatest in research keeping myself up to date in therapy land with what gel's for both me and the clients I work with. When I find something useful I go all out to study and understand it.

In 2010 I was trained by Dr Laurie Mackinnon in Radical Exposure Therapy, in a course called "Deactivating the Buttons - integrating  a trauma lens into a counselling framework". This has to be the most useful workshop I have ever attended in terms of therapeutic effectiveness and practicality. I do not say that lightly. I have been amazed at the sudden and positive responses to" Tapping" . It is also a self help practise. If you are a psychologist, counsellor or Doctor I would encourage you to visit Dr Mackinnon's website www.insiteconsulting.com.au for the upcoming training early September, get in early to avoid disappointment.

 This opened up my eyes to the effectiveness and benefits of "Tapping" derived from Dr Roger Callahan's Thought Field Therapy and adapted by Gary Craig into Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). As Dr Mackinnon Ph.D. was trained in Francine Shapiro's Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing modality ( EMDR) , and cognitive Exposure therapy she has therefore incorporated useful elements of these power therapy approaches and her vast experience into her teachings.

I was really hooked when 'practicing' the "Tapping"with a therapist friend who had attended the workshop, having an incredible experience as both practitioner and client. I won't ask my clients who consult me to do anything that I have not or would not do ( Yes, I have even completed the Black Dog Institute's Online Mood Assessment Program for Depression www.blackdoginstitute.com.au , which I use around depression issues!). This encouraged me to begin using the "Tapping" with clients. I have completed the advanced workshop with Dr Mackinnon and workshops with psychologist Steve Wells and Dr David Lake world renowned "Tapping " experts from www.eftdownunder.com and am listed as a practitioner there and highly recommend their training.

Since then I have had the opportunity to help people work through, sexual abuse, rape, sexual assault, post traumatic stress disorder, grief and loss, miscarriage, difficult births, post separation, assault, bullying in school and the workplace, weight loss, anger, panic attacks, domestic violence, affairs, incest, binge eating, depression, anxiety, trauma - big T and small t.

As I mentioned earlier, when I find something really useful I like to understand all of it's elements, the theory and the practise. This lead me to studying EMDR and finding Robert.G.Smith's Faster Emotional Transformation Technique (Faster EFT). Robert has applied his superior knowledge of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) as a Master NLP practitioner into EFT as he trained with Gary Craig back in the day.

If you wish to find out more about this advanced EFT practise, I suggest you look up Healing Magic for over 500 free Utube videos available to watch Robert in action http://www.youtube.com/user/HealingMagic . 
This was how I found Faster EFT and decided to train in it when Robert announced his tour to Australia last year. In March I completed Level one Practitioner trainer and am listed on Faster EFT practitioner page on his website. Sadly there are few practitioners in New South Wales as yet, but I do hope to improve on that.

Lucky for us his workshops are happening now in Adelaide - last chance, it starts tomorrow. However if you visit www.fastereft.com/events you will see a Melbourne workshop and transformational retreat for a taster scheduled for May 2013.

I didn't want to you  miss out, so I encourage you to sign up quickly to secure your place in this invaluable and effective training.

These type of Power Therapies recognise the Mind- Body connection necessary in healing unresolved trauma and childhood hurts. With EMDR and Faster EFT your brain does the healing for you letting go of unhelpful negative reactive emotional patterns - perhaps you have found yourself in these vicious cycles of reacting in ways that seem out of proportion after the fact? Then these therapy models are for you.

The Humble Hobbit life lessons.

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The Hobbit, and its characters offer some great insights.

Over the weekend I saw the movie The Hobbit: an unexpected journey with my friends L & L.

I just love stories like this and being a Kiwi revel in seeing my glorious country on the big screen. Hearing Crowded House’s Neil Finn is always a treat. And of course I am loyal Peter Jackson fan of many years, see Brain Dead (warning - nauseous making) and my all time favourite Meet the Feebles – a Muppets meets the Soprano’s film depicting characterizations within the entertainment industry. I saw it many years ago and I still giggle at the thought. Irreverent to say the least.

Now the current Hobbit creation his is based on a fantasy tale written by J. R .R. Tolkien, a classic in science fiction circles and an enchanting read, highly recommended to all.  Watching the picture unfold with my choc top in hand, I was excited in my 3 d glasses.

A journey into ones values and character.

You see it is a Quest. And as the Quest unfolds each player’s character is developed a little further, much as we are as we continue to grow in our life quest. How will you develop your character in 2013?

This adventure joins together an unlikely bunch that ultimately becomes a band of brothers (the importance of family and relationships). They are not all intrepid adventurers, with Bilbo Baggins (A.K.A The Hobbit, no spoiler alert as the book has been in publication since 1937) a reluctant 14^th member of the party assembled to seek the treasure held by the dragon Smaug.

Wizard Gandalf is the quest assembler. He is a wise mentor of indeterminate age but infinite wisdom; we all need to find our inner Wizard to call on at times. He also sometimes simply does not what to do but will try something. Perhaps you can relate?  Can you be your own Mentor to turn to for sage advice?

Now Bilbo, being a Hobbit is the smallest and least battle seasoned member of the 14. He has no real talents to speak of and is scorned by Dwarven King Thorin. Bilbo almost gives in to his homesickness for the Shire hearth of his, but pride keeps him going.

Lucky for Thorin who is saved from certain death with the actions of a plucky hobbit.  In the next scenes Thorin recognizes his error of judgment and apologizes to a humble Bilbo. I am a big believer a well-timed sincere apology can be a relationship saver, if not a lifesaver!

While Dwarves are small in stature, they are strong in hand and heart, with fierce loyalties and often-fixed beliefs. Their enemies are the Elves, who are pragmatists and opted out of battle they believed they had no part in.

Eventually they will have to challenge their rigid beliefs and put their enmity aside with the Elves, as they all need to turn to each other to fight the approaching evil. Where in your life can you redefine your relationships and let go of past battle scars?

Gollum is one of my favourite characters. I actually have a statuette of him that sits proudly in front of my computer. He is frightening to behold, downright fugly. Very young children are afraid of him, and many adults despise him. Why do I love Gollum?

I believe it is for his frailty. It’s easy to love the strong handsome Elves but watching his internal struggle playing out on the screen talking to his “precious” and whether he listen to his dark side or his morality, he is endearing to me. Perhaps this is like listening to your intuition, the good in all of us that exists but needs to be acted upon.

I guess because I believe we all have a bit of him in us – Jung’s shadow side. That dark part that sits in contrast to the lightness of being. Vital for vulnerability it is ultimately what brings us closer into contact with our humanity and intimacy.

Up to you now.

What will your Quest be for this year? What treasure will you discover through your relationships with other and your journey through the months?

My Quest for you is to put your adventure and dreams on paper, starting today.

Know that relationship coaching can help you build your dreams, with a mentor by your side to help guide you through the tricky bits.

Find your treasure today.

 Please call 0434 55 90 11 if you are determined to resolve your problems and want to get started on your best life now, not later now. Start as you mean to go on.

Please visit my websites for more information.