The shock of an affair similar to PTSD

I've seen many couples struggle with the aftermath of an affair.  

There's no doubt it's painful to be cheated on and the troubles infidelity brings to a marriage. 

Read my latest article on betrayal that incorporates trauma therapies - Ego State Therapy, EMDR, radical exposure therapy and emotional freedom technique. 

http://www.australiacounselling.com.au/mental-health-articles/featured-counsellors/philipa-thornton/

Manchester drama On the Shore of the Wide World hits Sydney's Griffin Theatre

When my friend Amanda Stephens-Lee, playing mother figure in On the Shore of the Wide World Emailed me the play info I knew I had to go.

The cast was amazing. 

it was great to see Amanda practising her craft as she had directed a Darlo Drama production I had been involved in last year. We even had a genuine UK import with Huw Higginson immediately recognisable as the character PC George Garfield  from Uk TV series The Bill. 

Wonderful performances all round.

 I found Kate Fitzpatrick and Paul Bertram characterised perfectly an older generation of relationship drama and tensions within a long term marriage. 

The actors Alex Beauman, Graeme McRae and Lily Newbury-Freeman captured the younger generations newer take on emotional connections, values and beliefs which they stood up for powerfully. 

This play is the UK's sister to August: Osage County. Another powerful drama that draws you into a Midwestern families dysfunction that's passed down from mother to daughter over the life span. 

The scene is set for the pain of inter generational trauma, loss and eventual reconnection. I especially loved Granddads speech on being a father very poignant and true. Each dad does the best he can and their sons go on to improve that by being a better father than their own. 

All the characters are identifiable and touching despite being set in Manchester, family issues speaks universally. 

Wonderfully written this play will leave you thinking and responding to it with an emotional reaction or two - to me this is the heart of live theatre. 

I encourage you to see On the Shore of the Wide World at the Griffin Theatre. 

Www.griffin.theatre.com.au

Mike Keanes call for zero tolerance on violence article hits the mark.

He makes good sense. Violence is behavioral. Alcohol is an inert substance we imbibe, let's not blame a fluid 

but ask people to take responsibilty for their actions. 

Balancing home and work is the mother of all challenges!

Cossima Marriner draws attention to the struggles Collette Dinnigan, Melissa Doyle, Kasey Chambers and Nicola Roxon have had as working mums. 

It is a delicate  balancing act for many with nearly 1/3 of full time mums dissatisfied according to the University of South Australia's centre for Work + Life. 

Mother guilt, financial pressures would be rated high in the stressors these women experience. 

Partners are often vital in helping share the load but often have not heard their partners distress or complaints. I believe this is not because they don't care rather they see this as 'venting' and probably can't find any solution so silence reigns supreme. 

Share more to understand and ask more of what is needed is my suggestion to partners in the counseling room. 

Warsaw Conference

Hello all,

I am writing this in the Marconi room of the Bristol Hotel in Warsaw Poland. 

I am here for a Cognitive Psychology Conference held at the University of Warsaw. 

This is being organised by the International Society for the Psychological  treatments of Schizophrenias and other Psychoses. 

Of significance to me is the whole of community approach with all welcome. 

Interesting. 

Warsaw is a delightful city with a mix of young and old. 

One has to ponder and admire the Polish having to deal with invasions, death camps, uprisings and Communism has certainly left a wound but also a strength of character and nobility on adversity.  

Yoga Foundations

My favourite Yoga teacher is offering a 6 week course in Yoga foundations.

Yoga is part of my spirit relief and life balance. I love the philosophy and the physical. I find it to be an essential in my daily life.  

It's not about competition, more about self inquiry and how that can apply in your life. I like a bit of reflection on things it offers you perspective. 

I'm always a big advocate of going back to the beginnings and am wrapped I can attend the Hatha Yoga course being offered. 

If you are interested please email Jeff

Yoga@botannix.com

Or phone as numbers are strictly limited:

Jeff 0407 562 154 to ensure your place. 

Check it out www.botannix.com 

Bliss be with you! 

It's the saddest thing...

I'm sitting in in the sun, Saturday morning after yoga. Enjoying breakfast at a local cafe. 

Reading the Good Weekend article Girls Gone wild written by Mandy Sayer. Violence is abhorrent in any form but I think there is a deeper shock seeing  young girls  being involved in violent crime. 

It's the saddest thing -  hearing their life stories of child abuse and an inevitability of their fate - gaol or pregnancy. 

Who is there to love them. One girl says " Juvenile detention is paradise." Wow. 

We punish these children , when clearly these girls missed out on family, state protection. Who was their for them ?

And then there are the victims of the victims. The cycle of abuse spreads. 

In the story a mother of two says of a vicious assault she suffered at the hands of five teenage girls "it still affects me every day."

From her further description this woman is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). ..." I had nightmares.  It took me two years before I could walk downtown on my own. Even now I'm still scared."  

As a therapist I know that this woman and I would suggest those girls in the article would benefit from evidence based trauma therapy.

 I use Eye Movement desensitisation Reprocessing ( EMDR)  to help in these instances. It is an endorsed trauma therapy and gold standard treatment for PTSD and much more. 

 Only yesterday I was using it in a  Skype session for a person suffering from panic attacks. Her first sense of this was rooted in a childhood memory with her mother delivering a brutal beating to her brother as she watched helpless. 

In 20 minutes or so she said she no longer felt the crippling sensations  and she felt lighter with a sense of relief. 

This was definitely a case of the past being present. We had started with her response to a partners tone - a trigger for past memories of her mother that she had not consciously connected until our work together. 

I love doing this type of work and do hope if you have a past incident or strong responses affecting you and your relationships you want to change I can certainly recommend EMDR. 

Please find a certified EMDR practitioner today and get the help you deserve. 

Best wishes Philipa 

Www.psychsolutions.net.au